


promises kept

by the_fluffy_unicorn



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I'm sorry for yelling it just pisses me off, In the end, M/M, One Shot, Sabriel - Freeform, Set in season 7, aka WHERE THE FUCK IS GABRIEL HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN BACK YEARS AGO, but it's really tiny, graphic depictions of emotional turmoil, this is mostly pain, with a liiiiitle tiny bit of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-05-31 22:37:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6490078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_fluffy_unicorn/pseuds/the_fluffy_unicorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>written for a tumblr prompt game: things you said when you were scared + things you said that I wasn’t meant to hear</p><p>Sam is having hallucinations after the wall placed inside his head by Death has crumbled, it's getting worse and he is on the verge of a mental breakdown. He thinks that Gabriel is just another hallucination.</p>
            </blockquote>





	promises kept

 

Sometimes it was all too much: he could feel it, a tight-wound ball inside his chest where his heart should be, and he wanted it out, wanted to throw it up or rip his flesh open, anything to get rid of it – but he couldn’t. He couldn’t even cry, heaving dry sobs that somehow made the ball heavier, bigger, not letting him breathe in or out, and he gasped for air, digging his fingers into the open wound in his palm, counting seconds until the pain shot through him, shifting the focus, allowing his body to relax a little and fill his lungs with air.

He closed his eyes, resting his head on the table, waiting for his breathing to even out. Lucifer wasn’t there, hadn’t been there since morning, and he should have been grateful for this little break, but if he was being honest with himself, sometimes – sometimes _not_ seeing things was even worse, because he was forced to be alone with himself, and he wasn’t sure how much of that he could bear.

Someone – or something, he never was quite sure which these days – touched him on the shoulder, carefully, lightly; but he still flinched, his whole body jerking away violently, nearly sending him sprawling across the floor; he managed to grab the edge of the table, the chair creaked, but remained in place.

He didn’t want to turn his head, didn’t want to see-

“Hey, kiddo, it’s me.”

That voice. He had been dreading to hear that voice since day one, since the first time he saw Lucifer sneering at him, face morphing into his brother and back without any effort, making him sick.

“Can you look at me, please?”

But he had been lucky so far: it was Lucifer, mostly, sometimes his father or brother or dead girlfriend or other people he used to know, dead as well – it was easier with dead people, then at least he knew that what he was seeing wasn’t real.

“Sam?”

But it was never him. Never Gabriel.

Until now.

“Sammy, _please-”_

“No,” he said, not looking up, gripping the edge of the table until his hands hurt. “No, please, no – anything, anyone, but not you; can’t be you, _I can’t-_ ”

“ _Sammy_ -”

He heard Gabriel's voice catch, and there was silence. No, he wouldn’t look. _It’s just a trick,_ he told himself, _just another way for Lucifer to get to you, he wants you to believe, but no, no, no, don’t give in, he is dead, it can’t be him, don’t look, don’t lookdontlook_

“Sam.” Gabriel's voice was quiet, trembling, and closer, really close. “It’s me. Not Lucifer. Not a hallucination. It’s me, Sam-a-lamb, look at me, please!”

Slowly, he let go of the table, still not looking up, hunching in on himself, suddenly cold.

“Please, Sammykins. Just – listen to me, okay? Lucifer didn’t kill me. I know you thought I was dead, and I’m sorry that you had to go through this, but – to tell you the truth, I was nearly done, he almost got me, and all this time – I’m sorry, Sammy, I’m so, so sorry, I should have been here for you, and I got here as fast as I could, clawing and fighting all the way back to life – to _you_ – I promised, remember? I promised I wasn’t gonna leave you.”

Gabriel's last words were barely a whisper, but Sam could still hear them; the echo of the same words whispered all those years ago.

“Let me help you, Sammy, please?”

He was shivering; when did it get so cold?

“Sammy. _Please.”_

The ball in his chest felt like a lump of ice. He nodded, not lifting his head, hating himself for this weakness, this hope-

Gabriel's fingers brushed across his forehead, warm, so warm, and he leaned into the touch, revelling in the familiar sensation of Gabriel's grace moving through his body _– but that – that meant-_

Sam opened his eyes and looked at Gabriel.

There were tear tracks on Gabriel's cheeks, but he was smiling, and his eyes were glowing, and it was him – it really was him, _Gabriel was alive-_

Sam scrambled to get up, but Gabriel held him in place with a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head, smile growing wider.

“Nearly done, kiddo. Gotta wait another minute, and _then_ you can kiss me senseless.”

And Sam did. 

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are always appreciated and come find me [on tumblr](http://yes-ima-fluffy-unicorn.tumblr.com/) if you feel like it =)


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